Yblarbo Janks
Caldari
Veto.
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Posted - 2006.12.13 15:33:00 -
[1]
Hello CCPanta.
* Pulls on Beard *
Looks real. Good.
Janks has 5 things to ask for this year, and seeing how he's been good, along with his fellow Vetoians, or as we like to call ourselves, Snugglebunnies (but only for the current month), it's clearly not too much to roll out a wish list for the upcoming Christmas season. Don't guffaw at Janks! Look, that blinking red rash is gone, now there's just a yellow stain, much like... well, let's not go there.
Ahem.
Item 1
Nothing says classy guy who likes to parteh' like a big honking pair of Fuzzy Dice. True, not all ships come with rear view mirros, so Janks just wants those that are made of spongy metal covered in radiation resistant fuzzy, connected with 50 meter cable that can be directly welded onto the ship. Janks may not be a smart man, but knows to weld them up front so that they don't fly back into the path of the engines and get burninated.
Item 2
Naked Lady Silhouette Space-Mud-Flaps. Janks would simply ask for regular spacedust flaps, but we both know that wholesome sexism is more tastefull. That, or a Cartoonish space bandito with pistols saying "BACK OFF!" Not only do these keep the space mud from flinging behind us and hurlting endlessly into the vacuum of space, unobstructed due to the lack of gravity only to be flung upon a hapless adventurer that will need to visit a filling station to use the community squeejee (which is normally useless), they also scream "VETO. LIKES WOMEN! HONEST!"
Item 3
Show your true colors, not by singing Cyndi Lauper, but by the use of Bumper Stickers. "If you can read this, turn on your tank" or "My other Ship is a Nyx" or "If the Thorax is a rocking don't come a knocking!" or even "I lost 10m3, you can to, ask me How!" would not only look totally smooth, but it would cover up that Scratch where Janks bumped many of ships off the gate before they aligned.
Item 4
Dingleberries are a little addition that add a lot of statement, and that statement is ... well, Janks doesn't know, but he does know it's something with a Latin Flair that makes it smooth. To clarify, Dingleberries are those little cloth balls that you hang along the Exterior of the ship, all the way around, to give it that Mexican Class that you can't find anywhere else.
Item 5
Smoke expelling Afterburners! Oh, how many of us have seen the hard work that others have gone through to spell out messages with cargo cans on the gates... and most of us rather not do such a thing because it's time consuming, and you expose yourself to attack all too often. So, why not give Janks a machine that lets him spell out a message! Now, even though that are nose-impared will know where Janks has been when they read in Amamake "Janks was here!"
Well, that's Janks's list for this year.
Janks is sure others have some things on their mind, and since your lap is nice and warmed up, he'll let others just try and come up with something that they deserve. 
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